i love him but he doesn't excite me the way Tom did. I never said a word to anyone because I knew how bad she felt about that. She betrayed your trust, and she makes fun of your sexuality to her friends? It's not a secret, kept in a fault. I will admit i dont tell my friends everything either, but if it comes up i wont join in and make fun of people who get made fun of for doing what i am into. They give up so quickly when there's a whole lifetime ahead of joy, wonder and happiness. Here are some of my favorite quotes (I collect them). Outing you accidentally is one thing, but there are a load of major no-nos here. It sounds like you have a wife who loves you but is a social coward so afraid of opinions that she tried to hide that it ever happened in hopes no one would find out. And if they give you a hard time, then fuck em! Your other half should be your protector but it turns out she's the instigator of making fun out of your sexuality - which should only be discussed between the two of you. i would like to add a partner should never ever make you feel ashamed or embarrassed about your sexuality. 2. First of all, I think we all say less than admirable things about our SOs at times. Only one thing to do in this situation. If she cant trust herself to keep her mouth shut around her friends when drunk, then she shouldnt drink around her friends. It seems she reserves honesty for her friends. Don't fight. Why was this in turn a secret kept from you? How disgusting can she be? The moment your sexuality became some kind of giggle fodder was when it really crossed the line. The sheer betrayal of trust is breathtakingly awful. That's a lifetime story . She's betrayed you. You are not overreacting. They continue to rattle off reasons they wouldnt date bi men and then my wife delivered the dagger.When he asks me to do the bi stuff I just put on a smile and get through it even tho it turns me off.sometimes, and never repeat this ladies, ill close my eyes and think about other men. I told her how emasculated and embarrassed I felt. I would take a long look to see if this is reconcilable. If you can't let bygones go after that then take the divorce, but be the better person and give your marriage a chance. Most importantly, YOU DID NOT GIVE CONSENT to the things she is talking about!! I turned to my wife with a raised eyebrow and announced I guess you didnt have me pegged to be a man that would stand up for himself! And I majestically brushed my cape back and walked right out of the house. Oh My God, seriously? He is my best friend, and I would never make fun of him behind his back like that. Her motivation doesn't change that the fact that you deserve someone that stands up to their friends. Its unsettling that she would remain friends with people who dared to judge her in that way, and that she even tries to gain their approval by talking trash about the beautiful sex you two get to have together. Any other friends you have in common likely know. I heard their conversation. I could never trust what to believe again. Couples counselling may help as well. You don't have to let it go. You both need support and work towards creating a space where you both can be more honest with one another. Especially when it all seems to have been going well. Everyone doesnt wAnt an asshole who People aren't accepting where I live either. The only talking I'd be doing at that point would be discussing how she wants to split custody. As in, never talk to them again. Shes outed you twice, once under influence and this time more than completely sober, then proceeded to loudly discuss your sex life in front of a judgemental group of biphobes who then proceeded to tell their SOs about it and are now probably telling anyone wholl listen about it. Not to mention she outed him and didn't even come clean and let him know, instead allowed the jokes to flow for a couple years - that's pretty unforgivable. At a minimum she should have come clean about the bachelorette party thing the moment it happened. And regarding the "I let it slip while drunk" part, she's still responsible for her acts while drunk. I will say at least you dumped the shit on the table straight away and didn't try to eat it by yourself. MILF Teacher seduce to Fuck Anal by Young Boy 12:11. For the record, any intelligent person knows that there is no straight/gay/bi sex acts. I was pooping and you helped me push from laughing so hard. HER?! 2.) He claims it was just he was not mature and never meant any of the terrible things he did. Hold on tight and never give up! Your refusal to do so speaks to your character. She sounds like she cares way too much about what these women think. Solve thid situation by TALKING let her explain herself and then tell her what you feel. She may actually not understand your bisexuality because its been something she said shes fine with but never actually confronted. Personally I don't think it's bad enough to end a good relationship over but you should make it clear that trying to hide her mistake and belittling you to others to save her self from their scorn is both childish and cruel. It was over something dumb, but she's fucking nuts and didn't want me to date anybody. Let her know how betrayed you feel. And can think clearly. That's awful. You poor man, I so want to give you a hug. To me this is an unfortunate situation one you would never have known about but for some low key curious snooping and snooping isn't meant as you were being a sneaky individual just a situation happened and you were part off it. I genuinely thought we were in love, until I overheard her on the phone recently remarking to a friend that she feels she settled for me and thinks about her ex every day. She swears she does love our sex life and the things we do and is sorry. Standard Group Plc HQ Office, The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road. Repeat offenders shouldnt get second chances and neither should first time ones. Birds of a feather flock together. Wife: babe were you in the kit. I cut her off. Unfortunately as long as there are homophobic people out there, there is potential to damage his reputation. thats some foul behaviour. From everything, the most painful one was when exposition. She's lying to you to save face. There is now a before and an after in your marriage. Theres people that will truly respect you and love you the right way. See how it flushes out. Whenever theyre in bed together, the thought of her thinking of other man will show up in his head. In our response, lies our growth and our freedom. So (and this is where your perception of the relationship comes in) you have to determine whether she was going with the flow of the conversation or whether she does actually have an issue with that. I agree with this comment the most. Going forward, she needs to seriously consider what she says to her "friends" if she cannot say them infront of you openly. The text of the post has been preserved below. Your wife was actively talking shit about you behind your back when she thought you werent listening. Don't ruin your relationship because of this. My wife and I always have a number one rule at the foundation of our relationship: never say a bad word about each other to anyone else. Here are some examples: I know you and I have different views on sexuality, but I love my husband and will not stand to hear him be talked about in this manner., My husband is not gay, please stop insinuating he is. subject change, Yeah, I dont think thats funny. (Or just not laughing and keeping a stone cold face until the others get uncomfortable), Thats actually not your business, lets talk about something else., I am uncomfortable talking about this, lets talk about something else., Your wife gave into the toxicity of her friends and that doesnt make her a better person for it even if she really doesnt think that way. She needs to know that what she did was hurtful and unacceptable, and you deserve an apology not only from her, but from her fucking idiot friends too. Don't minimize the situation and don't let anyone gaslight you into thinking you are overreacting or that this isn't divorce-level situation. Rob the "state" of whatever you are going through of its power by giving it zero importance. I probably wouldnt have. For that reason I would agree that you guys should talk about, counseling, or like I said, you reconsidering the relationship. Wife and I have been married 7 years and its literally the marriage everyone wants. Does it not show a serious weakness in character that she bull shitted like that? I packed a bag, kissed the kids goodbye, and told them I was going to grandmas house to help her with something. Forgive them anyway. If I were OP, the answer to this would play a big part in how/whether I wanted to proceed in the relationship. Throwaway cause I know one of her friends is an avid reddit user and knows my main account. It's not infidelity but to me it sounds just as fucking bad. They don't have her best interest at heart and they will just as quickly sow seeds of doubt to her evidently impressionable mind. I bet you can still hold your head high with them. I am so sorry. People won't forget about it. You both need to get in front of a good counselors and dig in. If after you calm down you still feel like being together, I would even consider moving out. Best to you. I could only imagine how crap you feel right now. First off, sorry, if a man and woman are doing sexual things together, it isn't gay. Don't go broadcasting it. The big question is are you still in love with your wife and enjoy having a family with her? She told them deeply personal stuff about your sex life. Im not at all saying you were wrong to stay and listen and your feelings are VALID. Wife talks shit to friends to be funny/gossip/have fun, and does not honor the trust that was placed in her. She was pretty happy discussing extremely intimate shit off the cuff in a group. She and her group of mean girls clearly cant accept that. 1. I dont get down with revenge fucks, but if I thought she was super malicious Id be behind that comment. That's something only he would and has already been judged for. If it was truly an accident, she shouldn't keep talking about it, she should always just say "I fucked up in telling you that. Girls can be katty and have fun taking diggs at each other (guys too but its a stereotypical thing with girls). I think forcing her to go no contact with certain friends is crossing a line in a relationship that can never be repaired. I have no advice but as a fellow bi, my condolences. Notice how she doubled down instead of being ashamed or saying that's not a subject for discussion? Good luck and I do feel for you. It's going to suck, but it's always worth it to try and move on. The biggest thing in my mind is, she shouldn't be saying things to appease her friends because she thinks they'll judge her for being with you. Seems like she might have played along a little too much to sound cool to her friends. Also you say you feel emasculated. Her friends have always been cool to me. 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